Great resources to tap into your natural womanly confidence.
I have had a long moral conflict in my life and it stems from having hawk eyes.
Yes, you guessed it: to fake spectacle or not fake spectacle?
For years I had decided against it because it was like…fake braces? Lying? An insult to those in the world who actually needed them? Then I ran into a girlfriend of mine who’s style is the perfect mix of funky, strong and pretty. Wearing fake spectacles. And hunny, we talked.
New rule: Fake speticals are encouraged for Ugly Days, New Zit Days and Sexy Librarian Days.
Oh! And the days where you get dressed in a hurry and find your choices were less than sublime but you’re on a time/patience crunch and need some piece that ties in an excuse.
"What!? I’m half blind and/or uber bohemian. Of course I’m wearing this."
What are you talking about, ‘Walk-of-shame’? I look fabulous. In fact, I’m just on my way to breakfast; a delightful close to a colorful evening.
The Urban Survival Kit: Giving ladies their faces back since the invention of Pride. Also consider keeping the Emergency sunglasses/casual tank top/sandals Roll in that War Bag of yours. XOXO
I don’t have a purse, I have a war bag. Well, at least that’s what my Marines lovingly called it. And I called their Birkin-sized, camouflage print, government issued *ahem* ‘War Bag’ a purse, despite the big muscles and heavy sneers.
Ladies, let’s embrace the beauty and utility of being a woman. Stop looking at men with their empty hands and single fold wallets, thinking “Woe is me and my Louis V ball and chain.” Pish-posh, I say!
Reality check: A Lady’s hand is on her purse because a real Gentleman gets the door. And #2: No body can say anything bad about being prepared. Hungry, tired, thirsty, lost or bleeding? Having a solution is as cool as problems are unpredictable.
So handle business, Ladies. Personally, I have two modes: Big Bag or No Bag. There is no in between. If you’re a lady who cannot survive without the real ball and chain - cell phone - I suggest you ditch über-organized wallet and get a wristlet instead; ID, debit, cash. A wristlet will keep you from jam-packing the thing with tasteless business cards, receipts and change. Clean=Classy=EASY.
In a small zippered pouch in purse:
- small bottle of perfume oil
- black pen
- $5 bill
- 4 quarters
- nail clippers
- travel size hand lotion and/or cuticle creme (Burt’s Bees the BEST)
- eye drops
- breath mints
- 3 Hair ties
- 6 bobby pins
- 4 safety pins
- super glue
- 2 Condoms (This is optional and wise. I started carrying these when I played the DD for bar outings with my Military buddies. No, they didn’t have the best DD EVER, but they were going out and gettin’ drunk with the sole purpose of trying to bang a bunch of townie chicks - from Alabama. And none of those boys ever brought a rubber. So, even if you don’t use it, someone will. Or vice versa. See? Prepared! Not a bad thing!)
Ladies, we all love a gentleman BUT, let’s face it, they are RARE. I have changed a tire on the side of a Los Angeles freeway in a skirt and heels and STILL no one stopped to help. A real Lady does not wait to be rescued. A Lady is an ADULT and knows how to solve problems in a timely manner and/or with in her budget. So, do yourself a favor and learn a thing or two about your whip.
You know if your knee is scraped, right? And you know what to do, you do it and you move on. Well, your car gets you places too so you are well advised to figure out how to patch some scrapes. You need to know how to change a tire-at the bare minimum. Yes, AAA does it but can you wait for a hour? Get good and it takes less than 20 minutes. Bad alternator? It’s a very painful $350 + 2-3 days at the shop. But the guys at Kregan Auto parts can throw a charge on you car for free to confirm diagnosis. The new alternator is $90 and you can even pick up a Chiltions Car Repair manual while you’re there. The switch is about 2.5 hours (and that’s moving SUPER slow). You even get back 25 bucks when you return the old one to the cute boy at the auto store. Tools, you ask? What woman DOESN’T know a man/Dad/boyfriend/friend/community college with an auto shop that doesn’t own tools.
There you have it. Doing things yourself just made you a pair of designer heels richer and 2 days less stressed. Take the once a week night class Auto 101 at your local CC. Man up and be a Lady: Handle your Business.
Girlfriend, let’s be real for a minute. I don’t care how much you workout, running in tiny (real inseam less than two inches) spandex shorts is not flattering. I love spandex and short shorts but together, it’s just atrocious. The wrong things move and even the thinnest of thighs look dimply in the sunlight. Don’t do this to yourself ladies.
I know that showing some serious leg in short shorts is like the sports version of good cleavage in a deep V. And even sometimes I tote myself around town in tiny knickers, but! I. DO. NOT. RUN. IN. THEM. Go lift or something.
Because it is gross to look at. Also, keep in mind that it is called a sports BRA thusly requiring you to put on a shirt before you leave the house to highly populated areas. If you’re (marginally) alone, take it off and sport that happy midriff! But at the gym, do you really want to come get straight skin contact with those sweaty machines and blood born pathogens?
And yes, sweaty, *ahem* vigorous prancing in micro spandex and Nike lingerie does send a message to others about you and you should care what it is. If you wont hump your bf like a jackrabbits on a park bench on a Saturday afternoon in front of children while smoking a cigg, then don’t wear those shorts. Just get longer spandex or a loose fitting cut. But make sure you don’t run your butt out the bottom of them.
Go ahead and show off that healthy body. Wear those cute clothes while you still look good in them. Just know what’s flattering and whats not.
Thanks, Gals. Keeping being beautiful